I had no idea what I wanted to post today. I have just finished work. I decided to sit here taking a moment for myself. It’s something I’ve always been good at. The ability to step back, and enjoy a few moments just for me. After learning the Italian phrase La Dolce Far Niente which roughly translates as the pleasantly doing nothing – a phrase I first heard watching Eat, Pray, Love on Netflix – I’m thoroughly comforted at the notion of a whole nation embracing this concept. Then suddenly an idea for an article/journal entry sprung forth. There is a more sinister side to this comfort, and it lies in my addictive personality.
I’ve always had one, and because of this I have never done drugs, and never smoked cigarettes. I simply know myself well enough to know that it would be a problem. A problem I may never escape. In the last few months this pursuit of happiness has lead to too much reclining and not enough declining. Declining the things that can get in the way of what I want to be. I have begun to encounter the overwhelming lure of hedonism that can develop while you travel.
It started with simply partying. Then simply partying harder. With nothing holding me back I lost sense of who I used to be. At first I used it because I was living out of a hostel and had ample free time. Then it became a way to escape a house where I was very uncomfortable, and didn’t want to be there any longer than I had to. Finally, it became normal. This trend went on for a few months and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. That is until I started becoming quite chaotic and destructive with friends and people I loved. This was the wake up call I needed, and I’ve been on a path of restructure ever since.
It was a very valuable lesson to learn. The wonders of travel are everywhere. They are powerful. They are majestic and they are the reason we all love to do it. They are also addictive and an inability to control them can lead to misery. I’m so very glad I realised this when I did so I can better take notice in the future. I never want to stop enjoying myself, but I also never want to make the myself I see every day someone I don’t enjoy.
If anyone else out there needs help with something similar please don’t hesitate to speak with friends, and family. They’re there more than you know.
Have a great night !